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Certain men consider nonscalp, nonbeard hair somehow inviolable. It’s as if they see masculinity as nature and femininity as artifice. Some think big eyebrows are powerful; the Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev had enormous ones, and no doubt they enhanced his ability to raise, knit, and furrow as mood indicators on the rostrum, but I’m sure they also terrified small children. As men age, they get bigger brows (and more nose and ear hair). Generally, it’s not an improvement. But I don’t suggest you approach his eyes with a sharp instrument while he’s sleeping. If you stop shaving your legs, maybe he’ll negotiate.

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